Chasing Fame or Cheating Fame?


Hello Good People who read this blog...

I am writing because I am about to work on some music projects and I do so reluctantly, due to the amount of work involved, but also because on a subconscious level I am troubled by concepts of “fame” and my relationship with it.

As a creative person, working on “creative projects” involves dealing with other people’s reaction to what I do,and if I ever needed to be successful enough to earn a living from music, a certain amount of compromise and chasing exposure would be required.

It seems that many young people I know are getting into acting, modelling, music, with “fame” as the eventual desired outcome and goal.  As a young person, I also daydreamed that from my music I might be accomplished enough to be famous and in my fantasy to have the respect,  power, and recognition that came with fame.

So I am writing this maybe to try to understand my relationship with fame. I don’t chase fame, I avoid it.

There have been many incidents in my life where it seemed like I was “cheating fame” in the same way people “cheat death”. Maybe I sound crazy but I think that the whole issue of fame and recognition by large numbers of people , is a worthy concept to examine, however clumsily I do this.

In our largely secular society, many seem to aspire to be famous when previously they might have wanted to go to heaven , or  might have wanted a good career and a respectable role within their social group, a happy marriage , a solid home.

It seems to me that chasing fame is a very ” conformist” thing to do, wanting to be accepted by the masses surely means having to “play the game” on some level, follow a passing fashion, please your media patrons. I feel deeply sorry for young people now who chase fame. I think this is a result of the media environment and social codes they grow up with, largely a modern phenomenon from the ever-growing forms of mass media, including my blog!

If you want to get to the truth it’s best to rely on real life experience  than theory, so sorry to bore you again with my life!

As a child I was lucky enough to grow up in Chelsea in the 1960s and 1970s surrounded by famous people. For instance,I remember seeing a Rolls Royce every day with the number plate “BOW 1”  with David or Angela Bowie and sometimes their son, being driven around.  A close relative of mine worked for Bowie and told me a few stories. What struck me the most, was that I was not allowed to know the address of where Bowie lived, he had to change his phone number at least once every six months and this number was also kept strictly secret. On the one hand you have this superstar parading around Chelsea in a Rolls Royce, and on the other you have someone desperately trying to get away from people,not the paparazzi but his fanatical fans.

I grew up in the age of Beatlemania, it was a new religion, there seemed to be a lot less famous people than now, their fame seemed greater and more enduring  because almost everything  in the sixties was groundbreaking.

An  exception to this sense of cultural revolution was the soap opera about a Midlands Motel called “Crossroads”. I think it was mostly acted and broadcast “live” which explains a lot.

I saw actors from Crossroads, my mother’s favourite TV programme, wandering about the King’s Road. I later found out that one of the scriptwriters  was staying in our guest house incognito, he would come and write there,  even his own family did not know where he was disappearing to.

In the supermarket I remember seeing my absolute heroine, Emma Peel, except of course it was the actress Diana Rigg an altogether different person. I so wanted to be “Emma Peel” when I grew up, witty and intelligent, free, and able to karate chop herself out of dangerous situations. As a child I assumed the actress was indeed that person, shopping in Sainsbury’s.

My concept of fame was pretty warped by these and many other events.As a young child, I found the idea of becoming famous exciting, like somehow my innate shyness and all my defects of character, all problems in life, would disappear just by being famous.It seemed entirely possible to become famous in London if you were in the right place, at the right time, doing something creative.

My parents hated the whole thing. My mother would complain that racing police cars had kept her up all night because the Rolling Stones had  another debauched party. My parents respected God, the upper classes,all authority figures, classical music and literature and aspired to be educated and posh. These new TV and music celebrities and the whole new culture with its shocking fashions seemed outrageous to them.

As an adult,I have had famous people around me , including my ex-partner who will read this, who like it or not, had a certain amount of fame, which was never intended.

As a musician “fame” is difficult for me, it is a barrier, it is not something to be aspired to. I aspire to use my creativity to heal my frame of mind, do the best I can, to be innovative, because I love being experimental at times, to express myself honestly, to create things from some compelling intuitive idea, derived from processing everything I hear or think about . I struggle to do anything creative which will eventually be exposed to others and must match certain technical standards, I am not naturally talented. I essentially create stuff for myself first and secondly to reach out to a few others and see if anyone is on my wavelength. However the idea of great success and fame is still there lurking in the background like a bad smell.

What would my life be like if  suddenly my phone was constantly ringing with people wanting to be my friend? What if I wanted to walk around London and be left alone?

This is a mainstream pop tune , but my intuition says it’s the right one for this post, plus I love the production on this track: Maybe Tomorrow by The Stereophonics (2003)

What if I were so successful that other people’s salaries depended on my producing  something that would sell to the greatest amount of people? What if  I got ill from the work schedule and stress? How much would I have to conform and compromise? What if I got bad publicity for something and people started to hate me? I don’t even like going on stage, I like to do a good gig but I don’t like to face a crowd of people.

So fame may be a result of hard work in the arts, of  being a perfectionist and successfully communicating something that needs to be expressed and that will contribute to the evolution of culture. But fame in itself is terrifying to me, even if you do enjoy it, once you are up there and dealing with the stresses, you either have to maintain it all, hopefully without resorting to overwhelming addictions, or choose to go back to obscurity ( if the media will allow it!).

The environment young people are growing up with now is so much crazier than mine.

Anyone can be famous,without even working at it too much, there are more opportunities to be famous than ever before and yet fame seems more transient than ever. What kind of warped morality are young people growing up with?

I don’t think it’s so bad to want to grow up and be a Beatle or Emma Peel, but what if you want to be one of the women on “4 Music” dancing round a pole?

I don’t like the mass media and I hate the music business, but in a recession even I may have to learn to deal with it, in the hope of  getting some kind of exposure to my music and getting paid for it. For me the whole process of writing, composing, lyric writing, recording and sound editing  is a very private and solitary occupation, occasionally involving others if they are on the same wavelength, but the land of mass media and fame is as alien to me as Planet Zog.

I have written so much about myself and my ego, but this was done with the purpose of opening  a dialogue about how fame personally affects us, how it affects those closest to those who  become famous, and how much it can control our choices in life, and the lives of generations to come.

Now I have thought a bit more about fame and my relationship with it , I realise that my true reason for doing music or anything creative has been for my own healing, and sometimes to bond with others, not for money or fame.

Love & Peace

Born2rant

Behind the Mask or Perfectionism leads to Carnage (+Satan Cowell)


Hello Good People who read this blog

This is another personal rant written during a phase of insomnia due to my own troubled waters and smog over London city both keeping me awake. This is not about hippie counterculture but being one of the last surviving hippies living close to the roots of London’s alternative counterculture maybe you can forgive me for ranting again…

I feel that I am being swept along in a tide of collective consciousness where revelations and sudden change are both liberating and confusing many people.

Many people are unsettling the status quo by revelation after revelation from the unlikeliest of sources, The Daily Telegraph for instance, not my first point of call for a revolution.

The bankers are outed as overpaid greedy manipulative thieves , then the bankers or “someone” want the focus taken off them in the spirit of  “if we’re going down then our old allies who dare to criticise us are going down too” , suddenly the government and its main opposition are in pieces, scandal after scandal of  greedy little secrets are revealed.

The mighty do not fall easily and defend themselves but are not believed. Even minor offences are unforgiven.

Then we have the great god of reality TV . People famous and influential by selection, seems like a dream come true for the attention and money hungry, but Jade dies, Susan has a nervous breakdown.

I always thought Satan Cowell was the Anti-Christ with Ant and Dec as his cackling demonic imps from the underworld. If Simon ever goes into politics he must be stopped at all costs, has no one learnt anything  from The Omen and Damien I , II,III, MMMMMMMMM?

Arthur Brown

Did no one else sense the soul-torturing evil of ” 2  Grand” and “Veruca Salt” ? (sorry I meant Hollie Steel).

Here I must add:

1. Yes I am being very mean (and silly)

2. I only watched the final of “Britain’s got Talent” to keep up with the times but I am sure there were more dastardly acts throughout the series which were invited to audition venturing up from Simon’s Cowell’s secret lurid stairwell from the depths of  Hades…

3. This is the land of The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Hawkwind, The Sex Pistols etc…so pretty poor turn-out as far as British Talent goes…

What more proof  do you need that Simon Cowell really is the Anti-Christ?  (“ye shall know him from his fruits” etc…)

A bit of music now..not sure how long this rant will be up here, it may disappear in smoke soon. I have put this clip somewhere else in this blog, I do apologise but  it’s my favourite Hawkwind song (listen to Lemmy’s  bass that drives the piece)

and speaking of people selling their souls to Simon to be on TV here’s some Faust on Germany’s Got Talent , another reason not to vote UKIP ( the Libertarian Racist party).

(p.s. that might be confusing., let me clarify …Faust are good, today’s Germany is politically progressive, UKIP is retrogressive and  if elected will stop us from having touring bands like Faust unless they have three ID cards, special performing papers and then will have rotten tomatoes thrown at them for not being British).

…actually even stranger than that , this is Faust playing at  the humble Amersham Arms with excessive strobe lighting plus frogs, electric drill,accordion and heavy space rock mayhem…

The more perfect society tries to be the greater the mask is required.

The heavier the mask, the harder it is to carry.

People are not perfect, that’s the truth, they never will be perfect and in their quest to be Holier than Thou or Purer than Pure, better than the rest, genocide or at least an eating disorder arises.

No one group of people is perfect, I have known horrible capitalist hippies and psychologically violent Buddhists.

The best we can do is to work with the imperfections we have got.

How ironic it is when the government and media and educational establishments keep telling people off for eating too much , drinking, smoking that in fact more people are getting ill from over-indulgence.(am flitting about about a bit here subjectwise, writing after no sleep has this effect).

How about starting with self-respect, less advertising and more personal freedom?

How about starting with allowing people to build their own lives and be part of something, in control of something, that they create from a young age?

We don’t need the “product” to make us complete.

If everyone gives up smoking some will resort to cream cakes and I am not sure what is worse.

Just to prove that even music in the 60s was not perfect here is a band called “The Cake” in 1969.The singer on the left (Jeanette Jacobs) is perhaps too out of it or too p***** off  to do much and actually she is totally cool, that’s what I would do given the circumstances!

( after watching other clips it seems that looking stoned while the others dance around is her general role and image in this girl band,sadly she died young at the age of 30)

**********************************************************************************************************

The mask is slipping for those in power, this is good but let’s just face it, if any large group of human beings was given carte blanche for expenses, how many would be on the fiddle, even the purer than pure ones?

The completely and totally utterly imperfect and sometimes quite vile ( almost evil)

Born2rant

( Love and Peace with Brass Knobs on..not always) Voting Green

Our shallow superficial culture and talented people


Hello Good people who read this blog…

Some anti-tv vitriol….

I am changing the tone today just for a brief comment on our culture.

I have been watching a bit of TV this week and heard about some exceptionally talented singer on some reality TV programme. I thought I would check out what all the fuss is about. I cannot  post a nauseous clip as the music biz has made sure their protégé cannot be embedded….they’re selling her as an old maid, spinster, too ugly to ( I am modifying my swearing here) “kiss” virgin in need of our approval. What a load of ****ing ******s ( I don’t think I put enough stars on this to replace the letters but I’m sure you can fill in the blanks and realise how much this annoys me!) .

Don’t get me wrong I wish Susan Boyle all the best of luck and hope her career spans longer than a couple of months. But it’s the way the programme is made. Mr. Loo brush head with his dyed fake teeth, hair and skin is trying to portray himself as altruistic putting a talented ugly middle-aged  woman on the stage and prove he isn’t that shallow ( AND SO BOOST RATINGS ) .

The token pretty woman in the middle of the panel ( can’t even be bothered to find out her name) is poised and primed to cry ( I think you can get these glycerine drops for actors to cry, she must have just put them in her eyes at the start and they were beginning to dissolve), that Piers Earnest-Smug-Face person, who also can attribute a new career to fake tan and pretending to be nice , is looking on also near to tears as SHOCK HORROR the UGLY WOMAN HAS TALENT.

The audience has obviously been told to sneer at her and make fun of her when she first goes on the stage ( unless they are really just the average ageist, sexist,looks-obsessed advertising fashion trained public – which unfortunately maybe they are) . then they have obviously been told to cheer lots when she starts to sing. Because SHOCK HORROR someone average looking can sing well.

Why do people assume you have to be beautiful to have talent???? because of the TV and magazines and our very shallow idiotic culture.We’re turning into the stupidest of the stupid Americans! Do you really want that to happen? ( p.s. I have some really nice American friends so I feel a bit bad for writing that…but I guess I am referring to the mainstream American tv culture and ideas rather than individual people)

This next item is totally unrelated to Susan Boyle but is about talent.

There is so much unrecognised musical talent about …I guess only a very small minority of talented musicians will enjoy fame and fortune because the logistics of how many human beings there are on the planet and how few manoeuvre themselves into the media or are thrown into the limelight .I don’t think many people become famous without seriously trying very hard .  The thing is for singer-songwriters, that unless you are famous you can’t earn a living that way. I guess it’s the same in many of the arts but the amount of gigging musicians who are unpaid or pay to play never seems to diminish in London Town.

Here’s one of the many talented songwriters from the London acoustic scene: Benjamin Thomas ( a Bob Dylan fan but I prefer Ben’s music)

This next track is a bit unfortunately named for an oldy like me but I forgive him!

“Growing old is just an easy way of dying”

“The stains on my heart are solitude”

http://www.myspace.com/benjaminthomas1

Love and peace

Born2rant

p.s. Question if they removed all the smug or shallow people off the TV would there be many programmes left?

( sorry there is no Marmite in this entry I was just being silly, but there was a meerkat later edited, plus vampires)

My Metaphorical Comfort Drug: Gong and a bit of Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah


Hello good people who read this blog

Are you sitting comfortably?

Well before we begin since I don’t have anything specific to urgently talk about let us listen to our first hippie anthem of the day to warm up our cockles on this cold evening ( dancing or waving arms about or playing along with wild and wonderful percussion instruments is optional)

Gong and “Builder” from the You album

The cold season was approaching  and as usual I was conned by the local nurse a few weeks ago into having a ‘flu jab as I come into one of those categories where they insist you have it due to low immunity …

Naturally just  like last year  ( see my blog entry around this time ) this meant within 24 hours I had what my doctor would call  “a  reaction to the ‘flu jab “as it “doesn’t contain any live viruses”.

My “reaction” started off by being weak, having no appetite and aching all over with a high temperature and a sore throat shortly followed by three weeks of coughing day and night, being too ill to go out , losing my voice completely for 10 days,  more fever and now a month later being still very weak and needing steroid medication to  breathe.

So next year I think I’d like the opportunity to catch the ‘flu the  conventional way rather than have it directly injected into my bloodstream. But every year I give in to doctor’s pressure ….

More music to cheer us up the excellent Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah band

In the Canyons of your Mind

Well lots going on in my life, busy,busy,busy,ill,ill,ill, busy,busy,busy…..

The bad thing about being busy is that it actually stops you from thinking , if you have lots of other things to occupy your brain and your time  then there is just no time to watch TV, read the news, think about the usual stuff let alone do anything creative like write music or blogs or even talk to friends and relatives.

In some ways this is a good thing as the news is so bleak. I feel that when I watch the news on TV it’s a similar activity to pulling out your own eyebrows compulsively or practising some kind of self-harming activity.

Watching and actually listening to the news is like a neurotic compulsion which serves to deepen that  sense of helpless lack of control over anything and everything…

“Expect to lose everything” the newsreaders and commentators insinuate “job, home, savings, pension, expect not to afford food, heating.. maybe not right now but in a couple of year’s time”...and then on top of it to hear that some companies are making record profits ………..and then there’s still the youth crime and the end of the world through climate change…and ARGH!

Gordon Brown’s smug face and even smugger statements about how Britain isn’t really responsible for all this ….. Get out the bottle of whisky now .

I don’t drink whisky but it’s a metaphorical bottle of whisky to deaden the senses and worries and sore throat all in one.

The news is scaring everyone to death and surely that’s in part what is causing the economy to fail.

The  music in this blog entry is my metaphorical bottle of whisky or metaphorical old fashioned joint (without skunk and just strong enough to make me mellow and creative) ..more music from the lovely gamelan-influenced Gong . “Love is How You Make it” from one of my favourite albums of all time Angel’s Egg ( every track is a gem):

I cannot embed it anymore sorry!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=O-QuwUWySG0

“The Rich” behaving like “The Poor”

Just one or two little local observations about the economic crisis and then upwards and onwards to something better.

As my regular readers may know I live amongst the wealthy of Notting Hill although I am pretty poor myself. One thing that has always puzzled me if why I never ever see my rich neighbours and acquaintances in the local supermarkets.

After years of puzzling over this question the simple answer is that generally speaking they wouldn’t be seen dead in a supermarket. Sometimes they send their housekeepers off to the supermarket with long lists of luxury foods or they just order everything from Waitrose who deliver.

So imagine my shock when on Saturday afternoon I saw not one but TWO of my rich neighbours in the local Tesco! I tried to make eye contact with either of them and smiled but found them unwilling to reciprocate ( I am poor scum after all and should not be living in a rich area ….maybe I am being paranoid but after 20 years of saying hello to these same rich neighbours and getting nowhere that is my paranoid conclusion).

One of them who owns a penthouse suite with roof garden etc… had ventured bravely into a supermarket to buy one thing only.

He left the store with a  small bag of  economy rice under his arm. I was shocked..I bought that same rice myself and it really is poor quality , I ended up throwing mine away and I never throw away food.

Also …. one of my very very very  rich acquaintances was not her happy self the other day and was complaining that her husband’s investments were all in the States and that he had told her “No more spending” these  people are normally a fountain of money, spending and investing in wild, expensive and often totally useless things.

So although 4 to 6 weeks ago the cracks were not showing amongst the very very very wealthy they are very acutely apparent now.

More cheerful  music needed urgently

Love is a Cylindrical Piano  – Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah band and Eric Idle again…

I guess we have to live from day to day rather than worry about the future but when I was at my poorest with my sensible female hippie friends we used to pool our resources. One friend of mine used to buy a huge sack of rice and one of red lentils from somewhere cheap and then we would give her money and petrol money and share the cost ( as well as the food of course). Ah petrol money! I used to go everywhere by petrol money, to festivals and camping and shopping trips. I was not a hitcher or a driver but someone willing to pay petrol money .

So many things are possible when people co-operate and collaborate and life can actually be a lot more fun and less lonely too  when resources are pooled together.

Being ridiculously wealthy tends to make people more selfish, although for some the guilt or the fear of ending up in hell or occasionally just kindness makes them incredibly generous .

I think we all need to pull together ( sounds like WWII ). I also think as a society in the UK people have lost their sense of being able to do anything for themselves long ago. There’s always a law or a rule to stop you from doing something creative and empowering so the general mentality in response to being terrified by the news of recession is to sit at home and listen to more and more and more bad news. Like monitoring impending doom as it happens from a cosy armchair and waiting for someone else to make some kind of miracle legislation to sort it all out.

As for me, I’d rather we started sorting things out ourselves without being told what to do or prompted by idiotic hypocritical politicians.

Why don’t we find out who our real friends are and start to buy big bags of rice and share our cars, share costs, swap childcare, swap services.

We need to empower ourselves and to take pride in the things we can do collectively instead of waiting for a miracle law or a miracle sack load of money to save us. ( now I sound like a Tory ARGH!!)

Anyway here is some more music.

Music is my chocolate, my wine , my spirit, my drug and my hug.

Zero the Hero:

Sorry I can’t embed it anymore go to:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjDo073HzlM

Music is addictive but it’s better than pulling out your eyebrows and sitting watching the news waiting for poverty to set in.

I’m looking forwards to people being collaborative again. If rules and laws are made to stop people from finding creative and empowering ways to survive the law-makers will be turning positive action into helplessness. Let’s hope change will be change for the better, but more than hope let’s make it better and start up our own economic collaborations.

We need lots of comfort music..Love and Peace

Born2rant

Gong ….The Isle of Everywhere

See Also…

Gong Live Now and Then

The Unexpected Disappearance of Matthew Wright


Hello Good People who read this blog

Now please forgive me for writing about a well-known tv presenter in spite of my anti-media roots but I have my reasons.

Recently Matthew Wright has discussed in a positive way alternative lifestyles, squatting of long-term derelict buildings owned by property investors abroad, on Friday he had criticised his fellow-panellists vehemently for not understanding how our freedoms have been eroded, and had spoken out against the 42 day detention law without charge . He explained the possible repercussions of this new law in layman’s terms on a show which would reach many people who may not watch other types of more high-brow political programme.

Please see clips below ( unless “they”channel 5 or others! remove it from the internet…spooky paranoia is setting in!)

On Squatting:

Ben the Squatter was brilliantly eloquent and reasonable advising people to fix property rather than damage it and not to occupy buildings unless they were abandoned long-term. He remained calm in spite of a lot of hysterical criticism from some members of the panel and came across well.

Alternative Lifestyles Part One

Alternative Lifestyles Part Two including ex-Frestonian Antonia calling in and describing the Frestonian community at length:

Please see his comments at the bottom of the post entitled

Freaky Coincidence?The Wright Stuff with Matthew Wright

from June 5th...he has left three comments in all. He is not a friend or employer of mine by the way but he has somehow found my blog! I was watching his show with interest for some time as he seemed to be challenging key issues in our society.He is not paying me to write this stuff I have no vested interest except wanting to support someone in the mainstream media who speaks out for our freedom and alternative lifestyles in spite of a lot of opposition. I don’t always agree with all he says by any means but he defends our right to certain freedoms.

Anyway on Friday when he and Tony Robinson discussed with passion this new 42 day detention law, he also announced with great excitement that he would have David Davis ( Tory MP causing a by-election by standing down as he wants a referendum on this new law) on the show.

I thought he said “next week” I may be wrong.

He also said he was trying to get Kelvin MacKenzie on as they were not allowed to have just one side on the TV and it had to be balanced politically. He seemed pretty excited about it all.

It sounded quite ambitious but promising. They were also commenting on how we are gradually turning into a police state like in the years building up to Nazi Germany and must do something about it now.

I didn’t manage to catch the first couple of minutes of this morning’s show, so maybe I missed something but basically he’s not there he has been replaced by Kay Adams who has filled in for him before. She announced that Matthew Wright won’t be in all week.

So what has happened to Matthew Wright? please see footnote*

Choose from the following options

a) He is suffering from stress after challenging the police and government so effectively on live TV or been so harrassed that he needs a break

b) The producers or someone is telling him to cool it, that he can’t have a serious political debate on a morning show and to go off on holiday for a bit

c) He has been detained for 42 days under the new detention laws

d) He couldn’t get either David Davis or Kelvin MacKenzie on the show and wants to save face ( I think this is unlikely!)

e) He has got some genuine sudden illness/emergency /bereavement which they announced in the first minute of the show and that I missed.

f) He was arrested at yesterday’s “Stop the War” anti-Bush demo by walking down Whitehall which was forbidden.

g) He actually announced that he was going on holiday last week and I missed it totally and am just being a paranoid silly person due to my experience at the park on Friday ( see previous post)

So Matthew if it is censorship I assure you that you can come here to rant in my comments section along with anyone else with something constructive to say.

We need people in the mainstream media to challenge some things and get people thinking.

Any thoughts from anyone? Did I miss some announcement?

Matthew if you read this and I got it all wrong put me right! Hope you are ok both Matthew and all my readers. Don’t let the paranoia take over it’s not the way to be.

Love and Peace

Born2rant

P.S. If I go missing please someone come and find me !

Footnote * Of course I could end up with egg all over my face and blog and missed him saying he was going away on holiday last week. But if some one knows of this let us know. I reckon he’s at home listening to Hawkwind with his pipe and slippers.

Police Force (intimidation of Londoners by the police)


Hello good people who read this blog

First of all you might see I got another comment from Matthew Wright of The Wright Stuff on Channel 5 ( scroll down to recent comments or go to “Freaky coincidence” post June 5th ) .

Thanks a lot Matthew unfortunately I only saw your comment to be moderated after I saw today’s show. One of his guests was Tony Robinson who is known as that guy who keeps digging up bits of Britain at the weekend in search of archeological treasures along with the only scruffy eccentrics you ever see on tv and of course as the genius Baldrick from Blackadder.

Well Matthew and Tony did an excellent job of putting across how awful the law is that can detain people for 6 weeks before they are charged, now ironically contradicted by the Conservatives. I hope they put the clip of the panel’s discussion up on youtube. Tony Robinson is an excellent eloquent intelligent speaker.

We need to defend our right to freedom. ( But I don’t want the Tories to lay claim to this! )

But what about the terrorists? Some will argue. The terrorists have won totally if it means that your average person ( or your average alternative slightly eccentric creative person) can no longer go about their lives without being spied on, searched, arrested etc…The best way to be defiant to terrorists is to live your life in freedom without allowing them to interfere with your movements or liberties.

But the thing is it isn’t really about terrorists.

Police Intimidating People in the Park:
I was going to write about other things and had written a rough draft to be posted but I’d been stuck indoors for some hours alone and decided to take a break and go for my usual walk in the park.

Now I am very lucky, I happen to live in a beautiful safe part of London and my nearest park is Kensington Gardens where I have been for walks for decades. I go there to escape the stress and crowds and dirt and polution of the city and talk to the ducks and parakeets etc… Anyway it is normally a good refuge from the stresses of central London.

When I got to the gate there were loads of police. They would not let anyone in but they were allowing people out. Earlier there had been a police helicopter flying over the area for a long time so I assumed that maybe there was some high security event at Kensington Palace. I walked along to the next main gate at Queensway. This time there was a major police presence and people wanting to go into the park many cycling or walking home from work during the rush hour were made to queue up and go into a white and orange marquee with a big sign saying ” SEARCH AREA” on it.There was a police van and many police officers and none of them looked friendly in a British bobby type way. In fact they scowled at people trying to look intimidating.

I looked on from outside a bit frightened and indignant as the park is MY park, my refuge from stress. I was wondering what on earth could be going on. Had they found bombs in the park? Would I see something on the news later? I stood in Bayswater Road at the entrance with these thoughts not wanting to go in. Another man standing next to me, a black man in his thirties was suddenly grabbed by two young plain clothes policemen. They made him put his arms up and were searching him saying ” Have you got any drugs on you?” . The man looked terrified and said no and I was scared too and decided to walk on before I got stopped too.
I was determined I would get in there for my walk. So I went along to the next gate it was locked and the next one policed by two women police officers who were big and butch and not any less threatening than the others. But eventually getting up towards Lancaster Gate I found a deserted gate and walked in. There weren’t many people in the park but most of them like me were curious onlookers. There was a very sinister atmosphere it was very quiet and there weren’t the usual sounds of children’s banter , blokes playing football etc..

I walked back towards the palace and bought a tea in the deserted cafe by the playground. I asked them why they were searching everyone or stopping them from coming in. The manager seemed quite excited ” It’s a new campaign! ” he said” they’re searching kids for knives”.

I was annoyed and I said “Well I’m not a kid and they wouldn’t let me in without going through the “Search Area”. He didn’t seem to understand this and kept saying ” No they are only stopping children”.

This was nonsense. The only children you generally see in that park have parents or nannies with them. I have been to that park 100s of times in my life. I’ve climbed over the fence and walked there at night , I’ve spent a huge amount of my life in that park and I have never encountered any crime whatsoever.

I decided to take a closer look at the “Search Arch”( not sure if the sign said Search Arch or Search Area) and stood not far but groups of policemen stood looking at me sternly so I moved.

I had nothing to hide, but that doesn’t mean I want to be bodily searched and interrogated by strange people at their whim or not be able to go for a peaceful walk in MY local park.

I left the same way I came in but before that I saw them stop and search a group of young black teenagers who were laughing and found it funny when their friend was stopped and detained
( hopefully not for 6 weeks without charge or even the current 4 weeks).

On my way back I walked past the main gate again in Bayswater Road and looked to see if they really were only searching teenagers. I then saw a group of very respectable well-dressed middle-aged white tourists being ushered into the large gazebo/orange and white tent thing, they were looking at eachother in disbelief as they were having to open their handbags and possibly to be bodily searched. I stood there shaking my head saying out loud:

” This is crazy, it’s just crazy!”

But then these two men heard me and told me to move along, they must have been plain clothes policemen again.


Police Intimidating People on the Tube:

I have already endured the unpleasant experience of police taking over tube stations at rush hour . Armed police and plain clothes policemen and sniffer dogs lining the walls of the tube station and looking at people in the most intimidating threatening way. I have experienced this several times now and it’s not nice.They usually do this in the rush hour often on a Friday evening.

Once there was this guy getting off the train in front of me he had been on the same carriage as me and caused no trouble. He was dressed smartly but he looked like a foreigner coming home from work and definitely not a thug. He had a smile on his face and possibly he had been drinking or smoking a joint on his way home on a Friday evening ( most people do not smile on the tube in the rush hour!). I was walking up the stairs immediately behind him.
Once he got to the top of the stairs without a word two policemen came up behind him and just grabbed an arm each and took him to one side. He looked at both of them with a silly grin on his face also saying nothing, clearly this man was not a bomber, he was not violent and he wasn’t currently breaking any laws although he might have been a bit stoned rather than a bit drunk. I found it shocking at the time to have this happen on my normal route home. I felt like I was in some kind of 60s spy movie behind the iron curtain.

Another time as I was going into the tube station on a “police day” two very sweet and innocent looking young Spanish long-haired tourists were suddenly stopped as one the dogs quite liked the way they smelt. I guess they probably had smelt of cannabis, the boys looked absolutely terrified and they didn’t speak a word of English. As I passed them the police told them they were being arrested and were confiscating their passports and one of boys looked like he was about to cry. I wanted to stop and help them maybe by translating but being surrounded by about 30 armed and scowling policemen I was scared and walked on.

So that’s my piece for today. It’s not what I wanted to write about .

I don’t want to have to move out of London or leave this country but I’m finding myself suddenly living in a place that is more like Nazi Germany or some communist regime than the London I grew up in.

We are becoming a police state gradually as this is how it happens and if we want to live in a place where we still have some freedom and democracy then we have to speak out against this and complain.

Love and Peace

Born2rant

P.S. George Bush’s visit and protest march on June 15th 2008

“The Stop the War Coalition has been informed by the Metropolitan Police that a proposed march, co-organised with CND and the British Muslim Initiative, to protest George Bush’s visit will not be allowed. The Coalition has organised scores of marches on this route, including during Bush’s last visit in 2003.” (taken from the Stop the War website..let’s see if they protest anyway and if so how many are arrested)

( sorry if there are mistakes in my post I am having problems with wordpress technology that automatically deletes words and bits of sentences and also with my brain due to an illness..however I do assure you that what I have written is as accurate as I can make it and not fantasy!)

Freaky Coincidence?The Wright Stuff with Matthew Wright


Hello Good People who read this blog!

Something just happened that has freaked me out ( man!)

At 2.a.m. this morning I put up my last blog post about Frestonia, but also I asked if journalist and tv presenter Matthew Wright was a secret anarchist hippie ( although he is also an openly male chauvinist piggie!). -p.s. 16/6/08 I am regretting that last comment now but in the spirit of freely expressing opinions I will not edit it out as I thought it at the time even if I think now I may have been a bit harsh or even mistaken ( mistaken? but I am always right!)

Well The Wright Stuff is on Channel 5 as I speak ( or as I write) and he just shocked me by having quite along feature on alternative communities in the UK including Frestonia ( please look at my previous post called “Frestonia , Your Essential Entertainment & Lifestyle Guide” if you want to understand what I am on about), he mentioned that Here and Now was one of his favourite bands who he said lived in Frestonia and he said he’d been part of the free festival scene in the 80s .

Just now he had a call from a woman in Hastings who lived in Frestonia and she spoke with him for a long time about how great and creative the Frestonian scene was.

So now I wonder

Is this a freaky coincidence ( man) ? Did someone at Channel 5 read my blog and tell him to get hippies on ( seems unlikely but not 100% impossible), or is my stream of consciousness writing tapping into some kind of collective unconscious psychic weirdness? Did the woman who called in to talk about Frestonia see my blog?

I have watched The Wright Stuff many many times and it’s the first time they have ever mentioned Frestonia or Notting Hill in the 80s.

I was already freaked out by finding a photo of someone I recently got to know on Tony Sleep’s site of frestonian photos. I am obviously having some kind of strange coincidence day!

I already had pre-stage nerves now I’ll be wondering if some other weird coincidence will occur this evening!

I’ll finish with something a French hairdresser told me who cut my hair in a small seaside town last week. As we chatted it turned out that her brother in law and my mother came from the same tiny village in France.

“Il n’y a seulement les montagnes qui ne se rencontrent pas”

( only mountains don’t meet, i.e. people who move about all meet eachother sooner or later)

P.S. I JUST FOUND THIS WONDERFUL FOOTAGE! MATTHEW WRIGHT SINGING SPIRIT OF THE AGE WITH HAWKWIND!

My God what the hell is going on???????? ( am I imagining all of this and have finally gone totally bonkers?)

In the interests of “balanced reporting” here is Space Ritual playing under the Westway about 2 years ago.

<a href=”http://blogs.icerocket.com/tag/the-wright-stuff&#8221; rel=”tag”>the-wright-stuff</a>

Christmas TV….My nightmare!( a personal rant with nothing much to do with hippiecounterculture)


Hello good people who read this blog

I will be bringing you more of the Dave Russell interview on the Arts and Community Centre in Notting Hill sometime soon. At the moment it is proving to be impossible due to the very bad internet connection I have with TalkTalk if it doesn’t get better soon I’ll be changing my connection.

As well as the usual Christmas nonsense, all the stress, shoppers in Central London pushing everyone out of their way with a look of hatred in their eyes and post Christmas party puke on the pavements, there is of course British Christmas TV.

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas , bloody hell it’s Christmas! The most over used phrase on TV is ” let us take the nightmare out of Christmas” then they tell you of some expensive useless present or recipe or chaos or essential wardrobe accessory you never even anticipated and make you worried that you just can’t do enough to get the perfect Christmas.

So here are a few moments emblazoned in my brain of Christmas TV.

I saw an episode of a programme where an Indian woman with a strong Scottish accent went into the home of a Jewish family in the role of a traditional matchmaker to arrange a marriage for 42 year old woman .

In Jewish culture they already have a matchmaker tradition so why bring in a Scottish woman to do it the traditional Indian way? She wanted to find a husband so they were getting the parents and grandmother to find one for her.

Now call me picky or unpolitically correct but would you really trust your parents to pick your perfect husband? NO! I scream NO!

If you really want a nightmare at Christmas imagine your parents introducing you to some totally inappropriate person who is just like your parents and telling you this is the person you will have children with and are stuck with forever. To some this may seem like a very good idea in which case do it but for me and I hope I am not alone ,I’d rather be unmarried forever than have my parents chose my friends let alone my husband!

The nice Indian woman kept telling the “spinster” that she was getting old now and that she was too picky and had to be more flexible. Great. That would boost my self-esteem. “Hey , you’re old now so just go for whatever we dredge up for you or you’ll be a lonely old haggard spinster and no one will ever love you. ”

I also watched a programme called “the mixdown” reviewing music from 2007 . On it they had 2 of the women from “Girls Aloud ” reading through “Hello” and “Heat” magazine to comment about the photos of celebrities and whether they looked good or not. Well of course that’s what musicians do isn’t it? I mean it could have been Beethoven and Mozart sitting there flicking through ” Nuts” and ” Zoo” magazine to compare the size of women’s breasts or something.

What the hell has happened to music? “Girls Aloud” seem to be on all the channels this Christmas partly because Robbie Williams is unavailable this year and partly because they are in this new film “St Trinians”. At a time when there is even an outcry from the government to stop sexualising young girls in the media and portraying children as sexually available in childrens TV programmes, on all channels they are promoting this film . “St Trinians” is a girl’s school where it seems that most of them are wearing suspenders , stockings, high heels, caked in make-up and basically tarts!! The band “Girls Aloud” who are in their mid-twenties also play schoolgirls in sexy school uniforms playing in a rock band. Maybe they can get an arranged marriage at the same time? They sing a song claiming to be the”Defenders of Anarchy”. I’m sorry but unless you’ve been beaten up by police for protesting against Global Warming you don’t qualify!

I also have unfortunately seen this new competition with bands being judged by a panel of experts called “Unsigned”. If people want to compete in ballroom dancing that’s one thing but band competitions? No!!!! I have actually been in two competitions without even wanting to and I nearly went on the X-factor ( yes I know, but I was going to do it in a rebellious way and was going to play the guitar and be myself)

The last time I was asked to come along to this thing at “Cargo” in London and to bring a CD of my songs. It was really grim but I smile when I think of it as I was myself and it confused the hell out of the panel. There were all these young guys in bands with their image sales talk honed. Everyone had submitted press packages and one had a publicity pack that filled an entire box file. Everyone had biographies and photos and had recorded their demos with professionals. As for me ,I was an old hippie in my hippie dress and I’d recorded something very experimental that afternoon called ” Pixies” using lots of samples of myself and tons of effects and although maybe it was like me, a bit untidy, I liked it!

When they played all the demos the “Panel of Music Biz Experts” all listened seriously and the young hopefuls were so nervous I thought some would pass out. They had perfectly produced tracks in immaculately copied genres or sub-genres of music. Then they were on trial and the judges criticised the lyrics or said the production wasn’t good enough or told them their image was wrong.

Then they played mine. I was laughing in the audience as they played it. It made Stockhausen sound like pop. It had no lyrics although there were vocals, lots of strange sounds and pretty awful production and I had scrawled my name on the CD. The panel looked annoyed.( but I still think it’s OK for an experimental track and it has a melody and proper guitar playing and I sing harmonies!) Three of them refused to make any comment saying it was a waste of their time and a guy I think the editor of DJ magazine actually liked it…well no he didn’t like it he just didn’t hate it as much as the others did. Then they asked the band responsible to stand up and there was me in my forties in my hippie dress facing the scum of the music biz and trying not to laugh. They said I knew how to use effects well but really not to bother.

I was so glad they didn’t like it and was even gladder when a month later I got one of my experimental tracks played on the Rob da Bank show on Radio One.

All those young guys in bands so nervous and wanting to please and spending a fortune , I’ve never seen or heard of them again and I was the one who got played on Radio One . There is some irony there.

So today as I watched on the TV the Empress Jo Whiley passing judgement on some band who was trying very hard to both look and sound original and to please a panel , I just thought of Hendrix and Lemmy and the 1970s version of Ozzie …I don’t think they would have appeared there and if they did they would have had to write music according to The Music Biz Bible ( I’m sure someone wanting to earn a buck has written one somewhere).

My God what has music come to? Whatever happened to the concept of rebellion in Music?

After watching more of that sad programme “The Mixdown” I realised it’s all like The Emperor’s New Clothes. The media tell you some band are fantastic and great and they become famous for a while but any trained musician can hear that what they are playing on their instruments is very simple , any poet can tell you their lyrics are either cliched or trying too hard to sound deep without any message. It’s all hype and even the musicians seem to believe it.

I also saw Top of The Pops 2 with a collection of awful Christmas singles, more nightmares of Christmas. Including this one. It’s Status Quo in costumes with a Paul McCartney song (well not really but it could be)

Merry Bloody Christmas! This song is growing on me..let’s revive The Wombles!

P.S. I just found out the band who won the “unsigned” competition are called “Revenue” it says it all really , you couldn’t have made it up!

Goings on in Pentameters Theatre:Anti-Media event, rantings on TV, fashion slavery and incompetent policemen(Anti-Media stories part 2)


I was told to go to a fringe theatre in Hampstead called “Pentameters” above a pub called “The Three Horseshoes” opposite Hampstead tube station.
A lovely smiling woman called Leonie was running this theatre and had allowed the mysterious anti-media people to run an event there. She had no idea what she had taken on. In an interview with the Camden New Journal about her theatre she later said
“…I was doing some amazing shows. We did anti-media shows. And they were as radical as you can get.”
Considering that before us she recently had Rik Mayall , Jennifer Saunders plus some of the Young Ones and the Comedy Strip performing there you have to take this as a compliment.
I was quite nervous when I arrived at their first gig to perform my alien act complete with green slime and cling film. I was also there to do others things in the show but I had no idea what. We were backstage and a fairly manic tall young man was on roller blades wearing a pig’s head mask , he shook hands with me and introduced himself as Andy.
Hogan and Richard looked nervous and then said “Let’s go on”.
I said ” What? What do you want me to do?”
They said it didn’t matter we all just had to go on stage and improvise something,anything that came to our heads and be spontaneous.

So we went on stage. Me in my glistening glowing costume, Andy on his roller blades and pig’s head, then there was this quiet guy simply called “OM” who never said anything but was a cool gentle hippie who had cut his hair and now wore a Nazi uniform with a silver polished Nazi helmet and then Hogan and Richard in their untrendy attire.
That was my first experience of Anti-Media.
We walked around the stage area in interweaving circles mumbling things to ourselves and occasionally to one another to a fairly packed room.
Later I performed as Astragone, I had written an extra song called “The Television’s on Everywhere”
I can still remember the opening lyrics
” The television’s on everywhere,
If I want to know nothing all I have to do
is switch on to TV A.M. ,
I really must stay in to wash my brain tonight,
because Quincy is dissecting in my living room,
I hope the sofa don’t stain.”

and here is an Interlude….cue a potter throwing a pot…..an Interlude of ranting about TV:

You have to understand some of the reasons for our rebellion against TV. We were the first generation of children brought up with TV. Our parents didn’t watch it as much or if they did it was with some background of life without TV in their lives.
My mother used to say TV was a great babysitter.She told me how she could place me in front of it all day long propped up with a pillow when I was a little baby and leave me in front of the Test-Card with music playing while she worked . I reckon at least I had a pretty great early music education thanks to hours in front of the Test-Card and I remember from an early age imitating the sound of the TV going “ooooh” in perfect unison with the high pitched tone it would blast out once all the music was played and there were no more broadcasts. I used to sing to it. But don’t pity me I was a sixties baby and millions were like me, plonked in front of the TV from birth and through all the stages of childhood.
I used to have nightmares about advertisements for fairy liquid .The perfect woman/mother/housewife in it was coming to murder me and I had bad dreams about other advertisements too.
I used to have sleepless nights after watching horror films late at night from an early age with images of scenes from Hammer Horror films like flashbacks that stayed with me for years.
I heard debates of how important it was for women to have “sex appeal” and what was “sex appeal” and how we all had to be stick thin. I grew up with the messages that if you are not stick thin and do not have sex appeal that you are worthless and no one will love you.
Any psychologists who dare to say we are not brainwashed by TV and that our children are not affected by it are plain stupid, crazy or blind or trying to protect advertising / TV/ Film companies. Or maybe it’s like smokers in charge of telling us smoking is bad for us .They’ll tell us it’s OK for years until they get found out. Maybe they are simply in denial themselves.
TV is a passive addiction that induces a semi-hypnotic state. That is why advertisers use it. If TV was not the best vehicle to brainwash people with then why on earth would they spend billions on their 20 second slots to sell millions of products. Anyone with a logical brain or business sense can see TV is a brainwashing device even if it wasn’t designed to be like that.

At the time of the Anti-Media events we had a new channel, channel 4 .We suddenly had 25% more TV to watch in the UK and we now had just invented breakfast TV where you could still be half awake and watch TV. I remember when I first saw adverts in the morning, I couldn’t cope as there were times I thought I might be still dreaming and any tune from early morning ads would stay in my head for the rest of the day echoing round my brain like a tape loop.
I guess I’ve acclimatised to it now. I do love watching films and programmes, often the most shallow ones but at least I am an adult.At least I know that what I am watching is bad for my mental health in large doses just like I know smoking ten fags a day is bad for my physical health but I can make a choice. I try to limit my TV/film viewing to a maximum of 2 hours a day now and although I frequently fail ,I certainly feel emotionally and mentally better off from my TV diets. I think watching TV with other people if you are discussing and sharing the programmes is different you can question it but watching TV alone for hours on end should definitely carry a mental health warning.

End of ranting Interlude and back to recollections of first Anti-Media event:
After my alien act, I remember seeing Andy roller-blading in his pig’s head for a bit and possibly OM playing the guitar dressed as a Nazi.

Then of course there were the films made by Hogan and Richard. They liked to film people and scenes in the street :homeless alcoholics dressed in layers of rags , a dog wearing a big plastic collar to help heal some wound, footage of police riots at Wapping and the miner’s strikes. Their films were not staged but often interesting things happened on these and created more of a story. One film taken I think at Wapping showed a load of aggressive policemen standing in line taunting members of the public, one looked directly at the camera and suddenly blew his nose from a great distance deliberately expelling a bogey onto the camera lens and completely obscuring the picture. It kind of reflected their maturity in dealing with the public at that time.

An ad break to make a cup of tea or to rant about police in the 80s…..
We lived at a time of riots in Brixton ,Liverpool , Bristol and near revolution. National Front Skinheads and protesters from the Socialist Workers and The Communist Revolutionary Party were clashing and rioting in the streets.

As for my friends ,we weren’t interested in riots , we were listening to music and playing music and having a good time with our friends but we were constantly stopped and searched by the police .Myself and my partner used to get searched whenever we went anywhere in our van ( a 1960’s VW camper van…not a very good disguise for hippies). Eventually we twigged that our number plate was on the Special Branch computer probably because we had gone to the Stonehenge festival while it was still reasonably legal . Once we moved house and got another vehicle life was a lot easier, getting searched once or twice a day at times was extremely stressful and gave us a healthy disrespect for the law which came out in our creativity.But other “normal” friends of mine also got searched constantly. Some looked completely law abiding and respectable, one of our normal looking friends got searched four times on the same day in Finchley by different groups of policemen. They never found anything yet we felt nervous whenever we saw police walking down the street. There’s no denying the police really harassed alternative non-violent young people . They searched us hoping to find large quantities of drugs but they’d seen the “French Connection” ( not the designer label..the films!) far too many times and they had no idea how to find any drugs. In fact their search methods were hilarious except they were constantly humiliating us by strip searching all the guys in public, as a woman I was fairly safe as legally they needed a woman to strip search me and it was always men who stopped us . However I got frisked with my clothes on by male policemen which was pretty awful at times for a young woman. The only people I knew who got busted successfully by the police were the ones with dogs, they were far more talented at this. But to me drugs were not important , they are still not important to me and to the Anti-Media group drugs were not used or needed.

“And Now…..Back to the Anti-Media event…”
Our evening ended with a kind of open chat show. Hogan and Richard had invited a fashion clothes designer to interview him in a kind of open Terry Wogan chat show with questions from the floor.
The designer looked happy enough to start with sitting back in his chair, all debonair ready to answer questions on his new collection and how successful and great he was. Unfortunately for him though ….they had also invited someone who I think was from Oxfam, in any case they only wore charity shop clothes or ones from jumble sales. The designer talked about his work but then was challenged on clothes made by child slaves in sweat shops and how we didn’t need a constant supply of new clothes and how it made more sense ecologically to recycle all our clothes by buying second-hand. At that time charity shops were dirt cheap, much much much cheaper than Primark in case you were wondering. Also people from the audience joined in who shopped at Camden and bought second-hand clothes. They were commenting how we didn’t need designers to tell us or guide us on what to wear that fashion and style could be created by the wearer in an ethical way by sewing old clothes together to make new creations.
There were no set questions and no set beginning or ending or cute jokes like on a TV chat show. I know that now the ideas in this interview are pretty well-worn ( pardon the pun) but 23 years ago it was the very first time I had ever thought of fashion as being unethical and questioned who had made my beautiful Indian Hippie clothes. As an indirect result of that evening I then bought second-hand clothes for years and worked for a couple of years in an Oxfam shop where I made some fantastic friends. While writing this I have to say that although Primark has been my friend these past 2 or 3 years I think I’ll go back to making my own clothes or buying second-hand in less expensive charity shops. In fact even charities have been brainwashed and operate so much like businesses that there is hardly any difference. Some charities pay their employees such high revenues that people who only care about their bank balances are working for them.
After the Anti-media event we all went back to Bob’s who had recently moved to a flat a few doors down from Pentameters. Michael had come to see what I was doing although it was good for me to be involved in performance independently from our gigs and him . My alien act enabled me to do this subsequently in many different types of venue away from our psychedelic gigs. Some members of Treatment were also there and attended the subsequent Anti-Media events.
That was the first Anti-Media event I can recall but it got wilder as time went on…..

to see an interview with the lovely Leonie Scott-Matthews who was not part of Anti-Media but let us use her theatre see:www.camdennewjournal.co.uk/archive/f041203_3.htm

Modern Life is Rubbish and Harpers and Queen, glossy fashion magazine!(Anti-Media stories part 3)

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